Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Its about making memories worth repressing
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
