There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
