After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
