Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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