Me too!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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