Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
