how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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