susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
