All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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