hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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