don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
