There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
