It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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