I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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