And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
