Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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