i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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