who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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