i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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