I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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