I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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