How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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