That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
