My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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