if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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