Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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