His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
