I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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