i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
