we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
