I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
