Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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