i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
