xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
