Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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