Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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