No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize