I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
