I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
