I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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