I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
