I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
