I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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