I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
