its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
