where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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