I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
