my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
