just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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