So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
