I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
