Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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