Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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