that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
