Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
