its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
