I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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