I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
