Me too!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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