she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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