Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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