her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
3 2 1 whiskey
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
