Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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