nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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